Unrequited
by RaptureEntice
Summary: "How does one individual feel after they comprehend that they have wasted these past few years on something meaningless? How does one take in the pain of not even realizing how much they have wasted until time stops? That's what it means when you have unrequited love. In worse terms, with someone you consider a best friend." [For the broken-hearted reader, or for a general read.]


**Hey guys. This is something that I cooked up with because of something I'm going through right now. If anyone has ever felt deep feelings for your best friend and it wasn't returned, then this is for you. Everything I wrote came from my heart, and truly reading this over made me cry. This is like self-therapy for me because I guess I needed to cry. I'm not expecting peope to review this to be honest but if you do like this, please drop a review. It would be more than appreciated, but I just generally wrote this to jot my feelings down. Hope you enjoy.**

 _How does one individual feel after they comprehend that they have wasted these past few years on something meaningless? How does one take in the pain of not even realizing how much they have wasted until time stops?_

 _I think that's what it means when you have unrequited love. In worse terms, with someone you consider a best friend._

 _The closeness both of you share is timeless, and intense. So many memories, that sometimes it does have you feel like time is going by fast. You get excited within every moment because you love spending time with your best friend. You appreciate each others existence, you care for each other and you protect each other as if you're the only one that matters._

 _Only them, nothing else._

 _Except, one of you falls in deep, hard, fast._

 _And you don't even realize it._

 _So, you keep on denying, to keep you from falling. We aren't kids anymore, I didn't need to keep chasing you around like I did as a kid. So then I stopped loving you, so I thought._

 _But when we got to this age, we became close that I didn't HAVE to chase you, we had mutual and mature respect for each other. We truly became best friends._

 _Unfortunately, those were the moments when you blinded yourself. I blinded myself that I was in love with you._

 _That night when I went out, came to your house intoxicated. You told me that you're developing feelings for a woman you have been getting to know. 'I mean I'm starting to like her and I think she likes me too, just seeing where this goes', you said._

 _I'm not stupid, I've been having assumptions for the past two months that you were starting to like her. I get it, Sally's pretty and talented. I guess you just can't help it right?_

 _I told you that you were stupid, that it's a mistake, that's going to eventually hurt you._

 _And if she hurt you, I would never forgive her for hurting my best friend._

 _"You're my best friend, I told you because I thought you'd be happy for me."_

 _Well I'm not, I said._

 _I'm going to be pretty angry with any girl you date, because the thought of them taking you away from me hurts me. I'm also not going to trust them, at first._

 _But at the same time...if you're happy, then I will be happy._

 _"I'm just not ready to give you up," I whispered._

 _"We're best friends, we will be fine!"_

 _Except, if you guys truly become an item, she's going to push me aside. Girlfriends, fiances, wives always become the REAL best friend._

 _Soon, hangouts will happen less frequent and they will be a lot shorter. Soon, the girlfriend will feel uncomfortable that you are even around the female best friend and then the hangouts might just stop, period. Or, you'd have to lie and pretending you aren't going to hangout with your best friend, but nobody likes a liar. I wouldn't want you to do that. I wouldn't want to be someone you have to hide anyways._

 _I look and see that there is a little card near your TV. Sally's tech-brain must have sky-rocketed cause she even has her own card for her own little business. But on that card, I saw it say 'Sonic, you are the bestest...ever' with a smiley face._

 _Why did that pain me so..._

 _I started tearing up, right in front of your face._

 _"...are you crying?" you asked._

 _I'm drunk, I replied._

 _"But, why are you crying..."_

 _Your face looked so concerned. You always did say that it hurts you when I'm desolate._

 _Why WAS I crying...?_

 _I guess I was being a little immature, I guess I should be more than delighted for my best friend._

 _But somehow, I couldn't._

 _My intoxicated brain started to get the best of me and I noticed that I was falling asleep on your bed, and you let me. But, you left the room and decided to sleep in a different room instead of watching over me._

 _Normally when I was drunk, sad, or just generally alone, you wouldn't leave my side. You would sleep next to me._

 _I instantly went to the room you were in. "Are we okay?!" I cried. I was being very dramatic, and I was acting very irrational. I felt like a 12 year old crying for attention. I felt like the old Amy._

 _"Why are you acting like this? Of course we are fine, you are the one that's mad at me for no reason."_

 _"You couldn't even lay down with me? You always do...?"_

 _"No dude, it's not even like that. The last time you slept over I was only able to sleep for an hour. That's all."_

 _I didn't want to hear it because I was thoroughly convinced you didn't wanna lay next to me because of your developing feelings of Sally and you probably didn't feel right to do so._

 _I couldn't stay there, I was also feeling very embarrassed on how I was acting...but my emotions are just spilling out. I had to leave._

 _As I was walking home, I was crying. Truly pouring out my feelings because I couldn't cry like that in front of you._

 _Pictures appeared in my brain of us laughing together, fighting over stupid and trivial things, having sex in the spur of the moment because it felt right, saying cute things to each other but then act like we are the grossest individuals ever for even saying those words. I started chuckling at those memories, but then I cried even heavier. There were times I even thought we shouldn't have sex because I didn't wanna feel used like that. But goodness, they way we kiss always has such passion, and the sex itself might not always be the greatest...but it felt RIGHT. The chemistry felt real._

 _Ugh but I should have stopped because maybe that's a huge reason why my judgement on you is so bumpy but then I couldn't because...ugh, I don't know why. Maybe I was addicted to you._

 _I also should have stopped because there were times I shouldn't have stayed in your life, but I did anyways because I cared. Even when you lied to me or betrayed our friendship, I still stayed._

 _I won't be having those memories anymore when you find yourself a girlfriend. That's when I realized I was in love with you._

 _I arrived home and I slumped myself on my bed and let the waters from my eyes pour out heavy. I was screaming, screaming for the amount of STUPID that I feel. I had sex with Sonic, he saw me naked. He saw everything about me...he knows EVERYTHING about me. HE KNOWS me._

 _It's like a shattered image of me, because we really acted like a couple without the title. Why wasn't I...could enough to be real?_

 _Isn't history over mystery better? The girl you know for years over one you are just curious of?_

 _Oh fuck, I'm acting so selfish right now but this hurts so goddamn much._

 _What do I do?_

 _I wasted so many years...I feel empty._

 _God, but he did only say that they were just crushing on each other. Come on, Amy, it's not that serious. They might not even last, might just be temporary feelings._

 _Except it IS more than that._

 _Sonic, is a part of me._

 _This is disgusting and I feel dirty. I feel like a used raged doll and I can't really blame anyone but myself for not realizing this sooner._

 _I always tell everyone that there is life outside of love and heartbreak, how life will continue to be beautiful if you just allow it. That you aren't alone in life._

 _But does anyone know what it's like for falling in love with your best friend and you feel like you can't escape from it? You feel so fucking stuck._

 _Every time_ _I hear your name, it's going to hurt._

 _Of course, if Sonic is happy in the end, I'm going to be wonderful and support him, regardless of the hurt._

 _I feel like I'm speaking gibberish and nonsense now._

 _But when you're in love, nothing seems to make sense._

 _Unrequited love seems like a suicidal experience, because you feel stupid and are left with nothing. People on the outside will tell you 'don't be ignorant, there are other people for you and will appreciate you for who you are!' I used to be that person that would give that type of advice to friends that were hurting or in agony._

 _But now, I'm in that position. And I get it now._

 _Unrequited love eats you._

 _Unrequited love makes you feel less than nothing, you lose your self-worth._

 _Unrequited love makes you feel anything BUT yourself._

 _Unrequited love makes you feel worthless._

 _Unrequited love makes you cold._

 _..._

 _And your best friend can't even save you,_

 _Unrequited love makes you want to die._


End file.
